Tim Burton can kiss my...

What is it about Tim Burton that everyone loves? I would love to know because I fail to see it. For weeks now, the internet has been buzzing with anticipation over the new Burton flick Alice in Wonderland. Everywhere I look (facebook, twitter, empireonline) people are telling me I must watch the new trailer because it looks simply scrumptious and apparently people just cannot wait for this instant classic!

I want to know how many of these people have read Lewis Carrolls original book. I want to know because I am certain that if they have, like I have, then they would see that Burtons adaptation is simply the wrong way to go with the film.

Alices Adventures in Wonderland, for me, isnt a childrens book concerning adult themes like many people seem to believe so vehemently. So many people think that because the Caterpillar is smoking a hookah, this is code for 'come on kids, lets get high!' despite the fact the hookah was a very well known instrument in Carrolls time, something which would be very normal to read about. Wonderland is about well, a wonderland. Somewhere a bored little girl goes in her imagination. A land full of wonderful and scary people and creatures, but all in their amusing own way, interesting. In my view, its supposed to be funny. The story was made up by Carroll on a boat trip to keep Alice and her sisters occupied. It was made up largely on the spot so how Carroll was supposed to put all these hidden meanings into it is quite phenomonal.

I would love, just once, for Burton to remain close to the original text. What he did to Charlie and The Chocolate Factory was disgusting. He made it eerie, he made it creepy. I agree partly that Willy Wonka is supposed to be an allusive character that your never supposed to know fully. But to make him downright creepy like that was just wrong. Im afraid Burton, and to some extent Johnny Depp (by the way Johnny, I think youve taken the whole 'Jack Sparrow' schtick a bit too far now and I along with many others would like you to return to some proper acting - thank you) are going to do the same to Alice.

I want to go into the ins and outs of the other things that bug me about this adaptation. Mostly to do with the mixing up of the two stories of Alices Adventures in Wonderland and Alice Through The Looking Glass And What She Found There but I would be here all night and Im tired and need to go to bed as Im working at 8.30 in the morning. Hopefully I will be less angry about this subject and have more wonderful stories from Morrisons to share.

Ill leave you with this drawing by Sir John Tennial for the original Alice in Wonderland story and leave you to decide what is best.